This post is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, but to be honest I never thought I’d actually write and post it. I’ve put on weight over the last few years and I’d like to share a brutally honest list of things I’ve learned.
- There is such a thing as being “sensitive” about your weight
I was a size 10 (UK) at my thinnest, and since going back to college/ uni and then working over the last 2 years, I’ve slowly put on weight. The first thing I realised was that I am genuinely “sensitive” about the topic of weight and food. Thin people complaining about being fat, or telling me they totally pigged out at the weekend makes me feel uncomfortable because we both know they are lying! Just stop it, we’re not going to discuss a mutual love of food and become besties, go away.
- Clothes are not your friend
Before, I never used to think about whether something “suits” me, if I liked it I bought it, done.
And now when I need a new dress, this is the list: sleeves, if no sleeves then suits a cardigan, not too tight, enough boob/bum room, preferably black, definitely not white or pastel coloured, not too short, no cut-outs, seriously what is with cut out dresses!?
At that point I go for a lie down and consider wearing the only perfect dress I own. (It’s this one ladies, it’s fabulous, but it’s practically sold out!)
- You will be made to feel larger than you are
I’ve gone up to a size 16/18 and when I look in the mirror, I don’t see too many changes just a few more curves. Walking in to a shop and realising they don’t stock anything larger than a size 14, or a tiny 16, makes me feel like I am bed-ridden, and somebody better knock down a wall and rent a crane to get me outside. It’s just horrible.
- Your favourite retailers are also not your friend
This was the hardest lesson for me, as you’ll learn from my hate-filled rant:
Just found that gorgeous dress to rock this weekend? Sorry, Topshop only stock up to size 14 in that piece. Topshop were so lovely and welcoming when I was a size 10, but now? They literally will not make clothes large enough to fit me – like I am some kind of monster. That feels like a friend telling you they don’t want to play with you any more – it actually hurts.
HOWEVER! It’s not all doom and gloom. When my friends want to look in Topshop (oblivious that they disapprove of my kind) I can still buy their shoes, accessories and make up!
Except I won’t; because Fuck You*. And if/ when I choose to lose weight and can fit into all your beautiful, exclusive clothes? I will still be taking my money elsewhere.
*I have a serious issue with Topshop. I do however love New Look and Debenhams more than words can express. Thank you for stocking size 16 + 18 clothing and making me feel like a worthwhile human!
- “We stock more online”
That’s right! There just isn’t enough space in this store to include each piece in one more size, so they bundle all that additional stuff online! I don’t have to shame myself by leaving the house, I can hide away at home and still give you my money! How convenient and thoughtful of them.
- People will tell you that you are not fat (seriously, this happened to me)
I am very aware of my size – I dress it every day. When there is a conversation, my weight isn’t something I generally choose to talk about. However, when the topic comes up, don’t tell me I’m not fat. I should probably clarify here – most of the time I am completely fine, I am a curvaceous lady, I am not Jabba the Hut. However, I know the difference in my weight before and after, and I have come to terms with that. I know people are just trying to be nice, and I would suggest a well-timed compliment on something else instead, such as how great I am at my job, instead of focussing on my appearance.
- People will tell you that you look better with some meat on your bones (seriously, this also happened to me)
To be fair, this happened when I went up to about a size 12/14, but also, please do not say this. To anyone. Ever.
- Shoes, Make Up, Handbags, Accessories, Beauty Products: They are your friend
I’ve found that with my options of clothes dwindling, I’ve been spending more and more on non-clothing items. Handbags, shoes, accessories, make-up and beauty products have become my go-to when I feel down or deserve a treat (because I can’t reward myself with food anymore!).
When all of the above start annoying me, I just remember: I have an amazing shoe collection.
This post was written more for me than anyone else, so a massive thank you for taking the time to read it.
Can you relate to any of the things I’ve learned? Do you have any more you can add to the list?